As if every attempt to become something is automatically dishonest. As if wanting to look like a certain kind of person means you can never genuinely become that person.
But what if sometimes performance is just the beginning?
Maybe someone carries a book on the metro because they want to look like the kind of person who reads. And maybe, somewhere between pretending to read and actually reading, they stumble upon a sentence that stays with them for years.
Maybe someone listens to a certain kind of music because it fits the version of themselves they want other people to notice. And then, somewhere along the way, they find a song that actually changes their life.
Maybe someone starts dressing differently because they want to feel confident. They post pictures because they want to be seen as confident. And eventually, after enough time of trying, they look in the mirror and realize they actually feel it.
Maybe someone starts going to the gym because they want to look like the kind of person who takes care of themselves.
Maybe someone starts writing because they want to be seen as a writer.
Maybe someone starts speaking confidently before they actually feel confident.
And maybe that's okay.
Because not every performance is a lie.
Sometimes it's rehearsal.
We are all, to some extent, trying on different versions of ourselves. We borrow interests, habits, aesthetics, opinions, confidence, even personalities, and see what fits.
Some things fall away.
Some things stay.
And sometimes the thing we initially did for the sake of being perceived becomes something we genuinely love.
I think we underestimate how often people become through pretending.
You don't always wake up one morning and suddenly become confident, disciplined, artistic, interesting, well-read, or comfortable in your own skin.
Sometimes you have to act like that person before you know how to be them.
Sometimes you have to place the first brick before you know what you're building.
So let people perform.
Let them post the books they're reading.
Let them dress like the person they're becoming.
Let them romanticize their lives.
Let them try new personalities.
Let them suddenly become obsessed with something they knew nothing about six months ago.
Let them be a little cringe.
Let them change their minds.
Let them outgrow the version of themselves they were performing yesterday.
Who are we to mock someone for reaching towards a version of themselves they hope to grow into?
And honestly, isn't there something kind of beautiful about it?
Someone cares enough about who they could become that they're willing to try.
Even if, at first, they're doing it for the audience.
Even if the first few bricks were placed because they wanted someone to notice.
Maybe one day they'll look around and realize they've built something real.
So let people perform.
Because sometimes the person you're pretending to be is simply the person you're learning how to become.
And maybe becoming yourself was never supposed to look completely authentic from the beginning.